The Girl Who Wasn't There
by Dragonsdaughter
Summary: Lost and confused, Kaoru wanders into a bar one night. After a deep conversation with the bartender she discovers some uncomfortable truths about her feelings. She undertakes a journey to Kyoto to polish her swordsmanship and find her answers... in Kyoto.
1. Sake and Sorrow

The Girl Who Wasn't There  
  
***  
  
By: The Dragon's daughter  
  
***  
  
*Disclaimer* I don't own Rurouni Kenshin! Any lawyers who come slithering around my door must prepare to face the wrath of Hiko-sama! (glomps Hiko)  
  
***  
  
AU- "Yesterday upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Oh, how I wish he'd go away!"  
  
***  
  
She wasn't there, I'll swear that on a stack of bibles.  
  
When she walked into my bar room, that's the first thing that ran through my mind. I could see it in the way she held herself and the slight shadow in her eyes.  
  
It didn't matter where she was physically, it wasn't here.  
  
I'd been working in that bar for about a month and I had just been promoted to bar tender the night before since I was more familiar with the local brands of alcohol and the manner in which the custom expected it to be served. The guy before me had worked last in a bar in Texas and... well, you get the picture.  
  
New as I am to Tokyo, I've already gotten a measure of the women here. To be honest, women were all I really noticed the first few days after the merchant ship I'd been contracted to docked in Yokohama a few months ago. I'd been on that rotting hull for six months straight without a woman in sight.  
  
Women around here tended to be of the demure sort, heck, even the Geisha and whores were well mannered. They all wore modest kimono, walked with their eyes downcast, and wore these ridiculous little black sandals, they're called geta I think...  
This woman was dressed in men's clothing. A pale yellow gi and dark blue hakama. Instead of those sandals that seemed designed to impede a woman's movements, she wore the same sort of rope and hemp sandals as any man did. I noticed that she had spurned the tabi. Even her hair was different, it was tied back in a simple ponytail rather than the elaborate coifs that the Japanese women affected.  
  
When she made for the bar I saw that she had a wooden sword stuck in her belt the way samurai carried their katana. She didn't remove it and from the way she moved, she'd stuck it their for pure convenience rather than any motive to emulate a swordsman.  
  
Of course, from what I could tell... and I've been around the block a few times, she -was- a swordsman. The dangerous type. She wasn't swaggering around picking stupid squabbles or making a big production of the fact she was armed. Instead she darted from clear space to clear space in the crowded room, moving unobtrusively towards me. I've been in the business long enough to know that this little lady was dangerous or was going to be one day.   
  
I set out a small saucer in the place directly opposite me along with a discreet napkin underneath it to protect it from the eternally grimy surface of the bar-top. Did I mention what a total dive this place was? It doesn't even have rats, rats have too much class for this place. They'd get sick and die.  
  
She took the hint and seated herself on one of the barstools that had managed to survive the transition between Boston and Tokyo.  
  
"Warm sake, please." She murmured. I had no problem following her soft, melodic Japanese. That tends to be a problem, it's just not my native language. This girl pronounced her consonants crisply and smoothed out her vowels, her voice was real easy on the ear.  
  
I filled her order and set the ceramic bottle before her. "Would you like me to pour for you?" I offered.  
  
A faint blush colored her cheeks and too late I remembered that offering to pour sake for another person was usually considered a sign of respect or admiration. Oh, hell.  
  
"Please." She murmured and looked away.  
  
I poured her sake and she took it in her slender white fingers. She lifted it half way to her lips and then stopped. She sat there, staring into the liquid as if searching for an answer in the clear depths of the alcohol.  
  
"You look like you've got a problem." I intuited. Heck, I'd already made an opening pass, might as well continue the conversation. "Penny for your thoughts?"  
  
She set down the sake and looked up at me with slightly widened eyes. "I beg your pardon?"  
Now it was my turn to flush. "Anyone who looks at their booze that way needs someone to talk to more than they need to get smashed. As it so happens I have a set of ears free and shoulder to cry on if necessary."  
  
She blushed again, that pale skin showed her emotions too easily.  
  
She looked down at her lap. "I suppose you're right. Maybe I -should- talk about this instead of holding it in." She looked at me. "I'm sorry, I don't even know your name."  
  
I chuckled, mostly to cover up my embarrassment. "Jordan McAlister." I shrugged and scratched the back my head.  
  
She smiled softly. "My name is Kamiya Kaoru, Shinhondai of the Kamiya Kassien Ryu."  
  
I blinked in surprise. "Hey, I've heard of that place!" There'd been a ruckus going on in Tokyo around the time I'd first arrived. There'd been a murderer out on the streets, a bitter ex-soldier I guess, I'd heard that he claimed to study the Kamiya Kassien Ryu... whatever that was. Well, here was my big chance to find out what had really happened.  
  
Kaoru looked down and this time the flush that gathered on her cheeks was one of anger. "You refer to the incident where the one calling himself Battousai the Hitokiri was killing people on the streets at night?"  
  
"I... think so." I hazarded. "My Japanese wasn't the greatest at the time so I might have..."  
She chuckled, a quick harsh sound that was completely mirthless. "Then allow me to correct your misunderstandings." Here she slipped into an overly formal style of Japanese, the term for 'me' she used actually meant something more along the lines of 'this unworthy one'. It always confuses me when people talk about themselves in the third person.  
  
Kaoru took a sip of her sake. "There was a student of my father's classes who wished to abuse the style of swordplay we teach. He used the Kamiya Kassien to attack and wound rather than for defense and self preservation. When he challenged my father he lost use of his thumb in the ensuing fight. That was eleven years ago, two months ago he started killing people and slandering our school under the guise of a notorious assassin during the Bakumatsu." Here a soft smile touched her face and she took another sip. "Unfortunately the real Battousai happened to be in town and set the record straight. Gohei Hiruma didn't stand a chance. It was like a kitten challenging a gatling gun."  
  
I felt my eyebrows raise in spite of myself. "From the tone of your voice I'm guessing this Battousai is part of the reason you're here tonight."  
  
Her smile faded. "You are observant. Are all English bar tenders like you?"  
  
I smirked. "I'm American, but it's another job of barkeeps to listen to the problems of the people they serve where I come from." I ran one of my hands through my unruly blonde hair. "Drinking is different out West. People tend to drink to get away from their problems. I saw that written all over you when you walked in here tonight, so lay it on me and we'll see what we can do."  
  
Kaoru took another drink. "I'm my problem." She sighed and slumped onto the bar, propping herself up with her elbows.. "I'm so weak."  
  
I blinked, had I heard wrong? "Excuse me, could you repeat that? I think I mistranslated that."  
Kaoru looked reproachfully at me. "I'm weak." She said slowly and clearly.  
  
I shook my head. "Who told you that, and better yet, why did you believe it?" I made a pointed glance at the bodken slung into her belt.  
  
She followed my glance and winced. "Allow me to rephrase that, I'm weak compared to the people I live with." She gave another one of those huge sighs that seemed to wrack her entire body. "Kenshin, he's so strong, and Sanosuke, and Saitou... even Yahiko, my own student is outstripping me! There's always some sort of trouble going on around me and they're always taking care of it while I'm in the background doing nothing."  
  
I frowned. "Maybe you should start from the beginning."  
  
She blinked and then nodded. "Of course."  
  
She started to weave a tale for me, one that I have no idea why I believe.  
  
Maybe it was the expressions in her eyes as she spoke and the way she described everything that had happened to her in the past two months.  
  
Kenshin, or rather Kenshin Himura was the name under which the aforementioned famous assassin went under these days and was some superhuman fighter. After chasing off the impostor, Kaoru had invited him to live with her in her Dojo since she'd lost all her students and had a small phobia about being alone. Yahiko was a pickpocket who Kenshin had rescued from a group of mobsters and given to Kaoru as a student. I privately think that this was both more for the kid than Kaoru and this 'Kenshin's' way of pacifying Kaoru. I'm not too sure I like this guy.  
  
Sanosuke, or 'Sano' was an ex-street fighter who had challenged Kenshin over an incident in his past which he held Kenshin accountable for, lost, and had become something of a freeloader.   
  
Again, in my opinion they were -all- freeloaders. Sanosuke was just the most obvious about it.  
She went on to describe a series of blood curdling attacks and vendettas that had befallen the motley crew. In one of these Kaoru herself had been kidnapped and held prisoner by this psycho who had been trying to, and I quote, 'resurrect the spirit of Battousai'. What bull.  
  
Of course, this is where Kaoru says her problem started. If she would have asked me, and she didn't, I would have told her that her problem had started when she didn't start charging these losers rent. But then again, we all have loser friends like that who we just can't get rid of. We like them too much and would miss them if they went. I kept my opinion to my self.  
  
"I mean, I came out of it okay." Kaoru confided to me. "Kenshin saved me from Jin'eh, but I started thinking after that. Maybe that's my problem, I think too much."  
  
"Thinking never hurt anyone, it's what you think about that can hurt." I shrugged. "but that doesn't mean you should swear it off. Besides, why should you go through life blindly following this Kenshin guy?"  
  
Kaoru's head snapped up. "That's not true! Kenshin would never let anything bad happen to me! He's strong and kind and wise and..."  
  
"And you're miserable." I pointed out. "There's something in this relationship that you need but aren't getting. No matter how nice this guy it, that doesn't change the fact that he's making you hurt."  
  
Kaoru slumped back onto the bar. "That's not true." She murmured, but she didn't sound too convinced. "Kenshin would never do anything to hurt me."  
  
"He doesn't have to be actively trying to hurt you to achieve the same effect." I leaned down so I could look into those big blue eyes of hers. "I'm sure he's a great guy, but he also sounds pretty clueless."  
  
Kaoru chuckled softly. "Oh yeah. He's clueless all right."  
  
I stood back up. "There it is." I said with a grand sweeping gesture. "When anyone has a problem with a relationship, that's what it generally boils down to. Your partner's clueless."  
Kaoru giggled and a bit of sparkle found its way into her eyes. All of a sudden she was ten times more attractive, and I could see what was keeping this ronin in town.  
  
I grinned quirkily. "Now, what are you going to do about it?"  
  
Kaoru blinked. "do?"  
  
I nodded firmly. "From where I'm sitting, that's your biggest problem. You've surrendered the reins of your life to someone else and, even though you're telling yourself he can take care of it, something inside you just can't handle that. Also, part of it seems to be that you're getting lost in Kenshin's shadow."  
  
"... lost?" Kaoru echoed.  
  
She leaned forward again and stared at the hardwood of the counter top. Her eyes were focused completely inwards and I could hear her muttering to herself.  
  
"Is that it?" she whispered. "Am I resenting Kenshin? Okay... he is the strongest person in the world and... yes, he does try and solve all my problems even if I don't need help..." an edge started to creep into her voice. "and he tries to hide things from me, like when the money's running low, or when he's gotten another death threat.... 'But I didn't want to worry you, Kaoru-dono!"  
  
She shook her head furiously and stared up at me.  
  
"You're right!" she whispered in shock. "I didn't... I didn't want to realize it before now."  
Kaoru seemed to crumple in on herself. Tears started to gather in her emotional eyes. "I resent him for being better than me. Even Yahiko looks up to him more than me and he's -my- student!"  
I sensed a break through. "Well, recognizing the problem is the first step to solving it."  
Kaoru chuckled through her tears. "'Know thy Enemy.'" She quoted.  
  
I nodded. "So, what are you going to do?"  
  
Kaoru wrapped her arms around herself and stared at her now cold sake. "I have no idea... if, if I could get a little stronger, at least enough to stay ahead of Yahiko so I can keep teaching him and not be a pathetic joke, I think that would help." she shrugged. "Especially since Kenshin is -never- going to catch a clue as to what is going on."  
  
I cocked my head. "Maybe you should get way for a few days, without your friends?" I suggested. "Go train somewhere and concentrate on yourself for a while?"  
  
Kaoru laughed harshly. "Worry-wart Kenshin would never let me go on my own, he has a hard enough time letting me out of his sight."  
  
I frowned, she really -did- need to get away. Well, I hated corrupting such a basically nice person, but... "so sneak off, leave a note in your room."  
  
Kaoru blinked and straighten up in indignation. "Kenshin would worry himself sick!"  
  
"And?"  
  
Kaoru deflated. "And... and..." she frowned in consternation. "You're very aggravating, you know that?"  
  
"I try."  
  
Kaoru shook her head. "So, I should take a vacation. Is that what you're saying?"  
  
"More like a training trip." I shrugged. "Just get off on your own for a bit. It happens in everybody's life, it's called growing up and realizing what you are and what you aren't. What you aren't is a housewife to be taken care of, now you need to go figure out what it is you are instead of that."  
  
Kaoru mulled over my words for a long while.  
  
I served some other customers while she thought. Minutes turned into hours and stretched out until people started trickling out of the bar. While I was wiping off as much of the spilled drinks and other... things off of the bar top, Kaoru looked up at me.  
  
"I know someone in Kyoto I could stay with." She said slowly. "He would understand my problem and Kenshin wouldn't -dare- cross him."  
  
"So go stay with him." I told her. "Pick some fights with a few street gangs and polish up your skills. When you feel ready to face your ronin friend again come on back to Tokyo. I'll even give you a round of drinks as a welcome home gift, on me."  
  
Kaoru smiled and got up off the bar stool. "I think..." she hesitated. "I think I will. You are a good person to talk to, MacAlister-sama." She bowed formally and gifted me with a dazzling smile. "I'm glad I met you."  
  
I copied her bows somewhat awkwardly, I've never been good at all this formal stuff. "Glad to be of help, come back when you need it. I work from noon until closing."  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Next time, maybe we can just chat like normal friends do. I'll leave my problems at the door."  
  
I grinned. "Bring 'em in with you and we'll beat em up until they beg for mercy. Good luck, Kamiya-san."  
  
"Kaoru." She said demurely. "You may call me Kaoru."  
  
"Only if you call me Jordan."  
  
She bowed again. "Goodnight, Jordan."  
  
And she walked out of the bar.  
  
It's been a week since that night, and the city has been in an uproar. This Kenshin Himura has some pretty well connected friends. He's been tearing the city apart looking for her.  
  
Well, I hope he doesn't find her.  
  
  
  
*Fin 


	2. The Potter and His Clay

***  
*Disclaimer* Still don't own it, want it though...  
***  
AU-  
I have heard the key  
Turn in the door once and turn once only  
We think of the key, each in his prison  
Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison  
-T.S. Eliot  
***  
Three days it had taken her to get here.  
  
She had travelled by coach, horse back, boat, and foot to reach Kyoto before Kenshin could have one of his psychic inutitons and catch her. Now she had reached her destination.  
  
She hadn't been caught, she hadn't been killed on the road, and she hadn't lost he nerve.  
  
She hadn't counted on being so scared once she got here.  
  
Kaoru swallowed hard and gripped the cloth bag she had tied around her shoulders so tightly that her fingernails bit into the flesh of her palm and drew blood.  
  
The tiny hut with the kilns behind it seemed to loom over her like a fortress full of oni and blood-thirsty demons ready to leap out and tear her apart. Behind the building, the sun set in a bloody blaze of glory and washed everything over with ruddy light. It took only a small leap of the imagination to believe that the world was burning down around her.  
  
"Come on, girl." she coached herself. "what are you so scared of?"  
  
It's not like he's going to -eat- me! Kaoru thought. Kenshin says the only thing he lives on is sake'! That can't be true, no one could maintain those muscles on alcohol alone. Kaoru shook herself. "Get a grip... just go up , knock on the door frame and if he sends you away..."  
  
"You're late."  
  
Kaoru gasped and whirled to face the person who had snuck up behind her.  
  
Hiko emerged from the copse of deciduous trees that surrounded his home. He had a jug of sake slung over his shoulder... presumably he'd been out getting supplies. "I was expecting you months ago, what kept you? Did my baka deshi get in trouble again?"  
  
"Um... ah... no...." Kaoru stammered. "Things have been quiet lately... except for one or two things..."  
  
Hiko snorted. "I curtained off a corner of the hut for you, it may have gotten a little dusty. Like I said, I was expecting you to come to your senses a bit sooner."  
  
Kaoru bowed. "Then... then you know why I'm here?"  
  
Hiko brushed past her and went into the hut. "Not really, I don't know what reason you have thought up for coming here... but I did know that you would show up eventually." he pulled the reed curtain away from his door. "Come in and tell me."  
  
Kaoru picked up her scant luggage and followed him inside.  
  
The hut was much the way she remembered it except for a corner that had been screened in by some shoji screens that looked just big enough to hold a single futon.  
  
"There's a place where you can put your clothes under the bottom left tatami." Hiko instructed. He sat down by the fire while Kaoru stored her things, when she joined him he offered her a saucer and a bottle of sake.  
  
Kaoru quietly poured herself a drink , Hiko watched passively as she knocked it back and followed it with another.  
  
"You ready to talk?" he asked after her third shot.  
  
Kaoru nodded and set down the Sake bottle and saucer. "It's Kenshin... not that he's been cruel or anything like that... it's just..." Kaoru heaved a sigh. "IT's just that... it always seems as if everyone else is improving but me."  
  
Hiko nodded. "Feeling left behind?"  
  
"No!" Kaoru flushed at her outburst. "Yes... but that not the part that bothers me... it's that I was rolling over and accepting it. What kind of swordsman practices everyday, preaches at the drop of a hat, holds her ideals before everyone else... and then just stands on the sidelines when it comes to a fight?" she threw up hjer hands. "I'm a joke!"  
  
The swordsmaster raised an eyebrow. "I didn't notice you standing idly by when the Juupongatana attacked that inn in town. True, you needed the help from that weasle ninja girl but that's hardly something to be ashamed of. She couldn't have done it without you either."  
  
"Misao isn't a weasle girl!" Kaoru flushed at her outburst, she was touchy about girls being called animal names (especially herself). "I'm not afraid to admit when I need help!"  
  
"Hence your presence here." Hiko finished. "Tell me, when did you stop your training?"  
  
Kaoru shrugged. "When my father died, after that I studied off of the scrolls, worked in other dojos... especially once money got tight, I taught as well..."  
  
"That doesn't exactly replace a sensei of your own to guide through example." the older man intuited. "Well, that explains it. You and Kenshin share a problem... luckily, you are strong and smart enough to fix it. I wish I could say the same for that idiot I wasted ten years on." he snorted and glared at his sake.  
  
Kaoru stiffened. "You didn't waste time on him."  
  
Hiko cocked an eyebrow at the young shihondai and set down his sake. "You're still ready to defend him?"  
  
Kaoru glared down at the tatami. "Whatever reasons I'm here mean nothing when it comes to that. My feelings for Kenshin are still the same; I love him with every scrap of emotion I can muster. I can willingly put my life in his hands and trust him with it." she looked up at Hiko with tears brimming. "but I won't let him live it for me. He has my heart and my soul in the palm of his hand, but my freedom is my own."  
  
Hiko grinned and smacked his his knee as he guffawed. "Where were you twenty-five years ago when I was looking for an apprentice?" his laughter subsided and he wiped a few tears of mirth from his eyes. "Oh yes, you would have used the Hiten Mitsurugi the way it was meant to be."  
  
"I don't understand." Kaoru said automatically and immediately cursed herself for it. She did understand, she could work things out on her own... she just had been trained to ask for explination.  
  
'Think for yourself, aijou.' she remembered her father saying once. 'You don't need anyone to hold your hand, not me, not your future husband. Make your own decisions and blame no one when they are wrong. Learn, grow, become strong.'  
  
'Oh, Ue!' Kaoru thought sadly. 'Why didn't I think of that -before- this became such a problem?' 


	3. Subtle Warrior

***  
*Disclaimer* don't own it, never gonna own it, will mourn it for the rest of my life.  
***  
AU-  
The heart has it's reasons--  
of which reason knows nothing.  
-Blaise Pascal  
***  
  
The futon was already too familiar, Kaoru thought in annoyance as she rose the next morning. It attempted the same lover's embrace her own futon at home -in Tokyo- employed every morning.  
  
Somehow the affrontry of this new futon's familiarity made it easier for Kaoru to get up. It was harder to force herself to rise for Yahiko's morning exercises (especially when all she did was supervise).  
  
Kaoru poked around the house, looking for something vaguely resmbling a chore.   
  
Hiko was snoring away on a bamboo mat in the weak morning sunshine that came in through the windows. He resembled nothing so much as a giant cat that had spent the night before terrorizing the local mouse population... or sake population in this case.  
  
"At least I know where Kenshin learned to hold his liqour." Kaoru mused to herself as she stepped over the slumbering swordsmaster to clear away the discarded sake jars from the night before.  
  
She found a wooden tub to stack them in and promised herself she'd wash them with the breakfast dishes.  
  
Breakfast... this was the part she'd been dreading. Breakfast foods were her weakest spot in her already pathetic cooking skills. "Still." she thought out loud. "I wouldn't feel right if I wasn't doing -something-."  
  
Luckily, the rice from the night before hadn't dried out so it became rice-balls. There was red-miso stored behind the racks displaying Hiko's pots and Kaoru appropriated some of it to become miso soup... one of her weakest weak points.  
  
Hiko came to life just as Kaoru began heating the oil in a wok. He rolled to his feet with an agility not often found in fifty-seven year olds.  
  
"Good morning, Seijuro-san." Kaoru said to him when he padded across the floor and sat down beside her.  
  
He'd discarded his everpresent white mantle and foreign boots. Without them he looked both more and less japanese than before. More because he was shoeless inside the house and less because the mantle no longer disguised the heavy, powerful build that was so uncommon for aisan men.  
  
"Are you making miso soup?" he asked as he watched her carefully chopping ginger and garlic.  
  
"Uh... yes." Kaoru swallowed and looked away. "Just to warn you, I'm not a very good cook."  
  
Hiko gave one of his eloquent snorts. "I'm used to poor cooking, there were a few times in his youth when I swore Kenshin was trying to kill me." he chuckled. "If you want my advice... you've got enough ginger."  
  
Kaoru looked down to where she was chopping. There was enough diced ginger to fill the hollow of her cupped hands. "Is that enough?" she usually added twice that.  
  
Hiko nodded. "Plenty. Less is more when cooking... try and think of the person eating your food as an opponent. He's twice your size and you can't lay a finger on him, but he's stupid and easily influenced.  
  
Kaoru cocked her head. "Okay..." she visualized Sanosuke.  
  
"Do you want to jump at his, sword raised, shouting your intent or do you want to lull him into a false sense of security and take him by surprise?" he prodded.  
  
"I'd sneak up on him." Kaoru confessed.  
  
"Good." Hiko applauded her. "Think of seasoning like that. Subtle influence is better than outright attack. More is less. For now, use about a quarter of the seasonings you usually do and taste each one of them before you put it into the soup."  
  
"Why?" Kaoru asked in confusion.  
  
"If you do that before every meal you prepare, soon your tongue will learn to recognize the different tastes so when you mess something up you'll be able to identify what you used too much or too less of." Hiko explained patiently. "Go ahead."  
  
Kaoru put a tiny bit of the ginger on her tongue and savored the spicy sweet flavor, half a dozen dishes that she'd made had an overwhelming shadow of this flavor she realized. "I use too much ginger..." she said out loud. "That's bad, ginger is expensive."  
  
Hiko nodded sagely. "Keep it up, I'll be watching you while I take care of the tea."  
  
"Thank you." Kaoru said gratefully.  
  
The older man shrugged it off. "You're here to heal and learn, this is as good a place to begin as any. There is more to life than sword-play."  
  
Hiko turned away before Kaoru could ask him what he had meant by that.  
  
So, under Hiko's casual observation, Kaoru sauteed the ginger and garlic then added 'one tall tea galss full to the top' of water and dissolved 'two lumps the size of your knuckle' of katsuobushi and kombu to make the dashi broth base for the soup. While that simmered together he set her to chopping up 'one carrot as long as your hand' and 'enough broccoli bits to fit loosely in your hand'. She added them 'once the broth starts to smell like the ocean'.  
  
"Now let it cook for sixty heartbeats." Hiko instructed. "It will give you something to do. I'll set out the bowls."  
  
Sixty heart beats later, Kaoru and Hiko both downed two bowls of completely normal, if uninspired, miso soup and one rice ball each.  
  
"We'll work on onigiri tonight." Hiko decided as he wrapped up the rest of inedible rice balls. "As for these... hehehe." he chuckled evilly. "I have some dead-beat friends I can pawn these off on. This out to teach them not to look for handouts..."  
  
Kaoru flushed and cleared away the dishes. "That's a good idea." at least her uneducated cooking could bring about some good. Although, it didn't work on the dead-beats back home.  
  
"Tell me what you noticed about your soup."  
  
"Huh?" Kaoru looked up from stacking bowls and trays. "What I noticed?"  
  
Hiko nodded and put the rice-balls into a bento box. "Yes, what you noticed." he prodded.  
  
"Well..." Kaoru paused to recall the flavors she consumed. "It was a little dull, not that miso soup can be the most exciting dish, but it could have used another clove of garlic just for flavor... maybe even less ginger."  
  
Hiko nodded. "Try it tomorrow and see what happens. What do you think was wrong with the onigiri?"  
  
Kaoru wrinkled her nose. "Besides everything? Well, it was bitter and left a weird after-taste in the mouth. I can't quite put my finger on just one problem."  
  
Hiko frowned. "Wake me up when you plan to cook tomorrow morning and show me what you did."  
  
Kaoru nodded and took the dishes outside to the water tap behind the building. Hiko followed her but went instead to a large bin that, when he opened it, Kaoru saw to be full of clay.  
  
Kaoru filled the wash bin with water and laid two mats down on the grass, one to kneel on while she washed and another to put the clean dishes on.  
  
Hiko came to the water pump with two large handfuls of clay in a wooden tub similar to the ones Kaoru used to wash dishes. "The clay dries out." he explained. "The bin I keep it in is in the shade, but the moisture still escapes so I have to work more into before I work." he poured just enough water into the tub to cover the bottom and then began to knead the clay the same way an english housewife kneaded bread dough.  
  
They both worked in companionable silence for a while until Hiko broke the hush by asking Kaoru. "What exactly do you see in my baka-deshi, anyway? I've been wanting to ask you that ever since he came crawling back here to learn the sucession techinques."  
  
Kaoru flushed and bowed her head so her bangs would hide it. "I... don't really know myself." were Hiko anyone else she would have extolled on Kenshin's many virtues; kindess, patience, humor, etc., etc., etc. but Hiko was Hiko and she knew he'd see through any attempts to divert him.  
  
"Well, I can't really help loving him." she said after a while. "It wasn't because he rescued me, or because he is strong and protects me... I don't really know -why- I feel the way I do, I just started to one day and never found a good enough reason to stop. The first time I met Kenshin, it was rather ironic, I mistook him for himself."  
  
"You mean that incident in Tokyo where a fake Battousai was killing police officers?" Hiko prodded.  
  
"That's the one." Kaoru laughed. "I was on the streets looking for the man who was maligning the name of my school. I knew he wasn't the -real- Battousai because Battoursai was an assassin directly under the leaders of the chosuu faction. I assumed that the real Battousai was either dead, settled down somewhere, or working for the new government. No one would send an expert killer to hack down some inept cops on the street, that's the sort of thing thugs are for. Thugs are something I have experience with, so I thought I had a chance." she made a face. "I was out of my depth, luckily Kenshin pulled me out of Gohei's attack before I was hurt."  
  
"Didn't you think it was odd that the real Battousai was in town where the fake one was making a ruckus?"  
  
Kaoru shook her head. "No, Kenshin probably heard the rumors of a false hitokiri in Tokyo and came to get rid of him. It's the sort of thing he'd do. Of course it could be a cooicedance, but too many cooincedances happen around Kenshin." she frowned and shook herself. "It doesn't matter, as long as Kenshin breathes air and not graveyard soil he'll be a trouble magnet. Some people are just that way..."  
  
Hiko nodded. "He certainly is. After you put the dishes away, come out back and talk to me while I shape these pots."  
  
"Of course." Kaoru took the clean dshes inside and Hiko went to his work bench and potter's wheel.  
  
Inside the hut, Kaoru wasted no time stacking the bowls in the corner with the others and putting away the individual trays. When she was done she stood up to dust off her Kimono just as a shadow crossed the threshold of the hut.  
  
"Excuse me?" A youngish woman, about Kaoru's age, stood awkwardly outside the door with a baby strapped to her back and a toddler grasping the hem of her kimono.  
  
Kaoru pushed her bangs back and went to greet her. "Can I help you?" she offered.  
  
The young woman gasped a little as she caught sight of Kaoru. "Oh! Is the Potter not well?" she asked in concern.  
  
Kaoru shook her head. "No, he is just working in the back."  
  
The woman blinked. "Oh... OH!" she flushed. "Forgive me, I hadn't heard that he'd taken a wife." she bowed. "My apologies."  
  
Kaoru opened her mouth to tell the woman that she wasn't Hiko's wife... but then it occured to her what gossip that might produce. "I'm his sister." she lied. There, a nice non-intimate relationship that wouldn't produce slanderous gossip. "My husband has business overseas and I came to spend a few weeks with my brother rather than stay at home alone." There, not only was she not a cause for a sword-point wedding but exempt from possible suitors from the town looking to ally themselves with a profitable business.  
  
Understanding lit in the other woman's eyes. "Oh, I see. I wasn't aware that Seijuro-san had a sister." she cocked her head. "Not that anyone knows terribly much about him, actually, you look a bit like him... it's the way you hold yourself." she shook herself. "I need another pickle urn." she explained with a not-so-veiled look at the toddler at her ankles happily covering himself with dust.  
  
Kaoru nodded. "I see." she looked over the shelves. "What did you have in mind?"  
  
The woman's eyes followed hers. "Nothing too showy, it's just for the kitchen. I don't let Shinnosuke in the receiving rooms where we must keep some vaulable and fragile things for guests to look on." she made a face. "I despair of every being able to take my mother's rosewood jewelry box down from the high shelves again."  
  
Kaoru cast an eye on a plain pot with a medium sized neck of the sort her mother had made pickles in. 'the hole is high enough that if the pot is carried the vinegar isdie won't slosh over but big enough that it is easy to get the pickles out again.'  
  
Suddenly she paused and smacked herself. "Vinegar!"  
  
The lady looked at her in surprise. "Have you just recalled something?"  
  
Kaoru blushed. "No, I just finally realized what was wrong with some onigiri I made. I probably used too much vinegar and not enough sugar."  
  
The customer laughed. "Oh! I remember making the same mistake for ages until my mother stood over my shoulder while I cooked!"  
  
They shared a moment of laughter and Kaoru retrieved the crock she'd mentally selected for the lady. "Will this do?"  
  
The customer eyed the jar critically. "Yes, I believe it will." she smiled at Kaoru. "Actually, I think it might be better for it's purpose than my old one."  
  
"My mother used one like it." Kaoru agreed. "I remember being dragged all over the market looking for a new one when I accidentally broke it."  
  
"How much do you want for it?"  
  
Kaoru frowned down at the pot... and thought about how much she paid for crockery. She knew how much the materials cost, living hand to mouth at the dojo had made her a shrewd customer. "10 sen." she decided. That was a tidy profit for Hiko and a more than fair price for the lady, who looked to be well off in life.  
  
"That is reasonable." she agreed and counted out the coins.  
  
Kaoru caught a flash of movement from the corner of her eye and heard Shinnosuke's squeal of intent. Wiothout thinking, she snagged the bodken she brought with her from Tokyo and picked Shinnosuke up by the collar of his gi with the tip of it before he reached his target... a low shelf of delicate porcelain statuette's.  
  
With the same gesture she used when she plucked Yahiko (a great big ten year old) off the roof, she set Shinnosuke down on the tatami before his shoked mother and fixed him with a glare. "Are those yours?" she asked him.  
  
To his mother's mortification, Shinnosuke nodded happily but his face fell when Kaoru shook her head. "No."  
  
Shinnosuke bowed his head and scuffed his sandals. "Gomen." he muttered. Kaoru was surprised he knew the word, children his age usually communicated with their parents in a code of their own devising.  
  
"Shinnosuke!" His miothjer cried. "Bow when you apologize, do not shame your family."  
  
Shinnosuke's chin wobbled and he bowed awkwardly. "Gomen." he repeated, louder this time.  
  
Kaoru smiled and patted his head. "No harm done, but porcelain is expensive and breaks easily." she knelt down and took his arm. "There are many tiny fragments that could cut you and the dust in your blood would make you sick."  
  
Shinnosuke ducked behind his mother's legs, much to the woman's amusement.  
  
"That was amazing." she told Kaoru. "Not only did you move so quickly, you managed to make Shinnosuke mind!" she smiled. "I am Midori Kanzaka. I would love to make your friendship."  
  
"Kaoru Kamiya." Kaoru smiled at Midori. "I would like that."  
  
Midori sighed. "I'm afraid I must be going now and take that crock home so we can have pickles in time for dinner, but if it isn't too much trouble I would like to call on you tomorrow. When would be most conveinent?"  
  
Kaoru thought quickly. "Come before noon, so you won't have to travel when it is the hottest and Shinnosuke and your baby will be napping."  
  
Midori nodded. "That would be best, my neighbor closes her shop then and she will watch them for me." she bowed, careful of the baby on her back. "Until tomorrow, Kamiya-san?"  
  
"Goodbye!" Kaoru walked Midori to the bend of the road and watched until she was out of sight.  
  
Hiko emerged from the trees to her left. "You handled that nicely." he approved. "She's always afraid of me."  
  
Kaoru looked up at him... and up... and up. "I can't imagine why she would be intimidated by you." she said sarcastically.  
  
Hiko shrugged. "Maybe she is just in awe of my obvious perfection." he shrugged. "The clay needs to rest before I work it. Go get your bodken and change into your hakama and we will have a work out."  
  
***  
Author's Note  
***  
I was so surprised when I got so many reviews! Normally I'm lucky if I get as many as eight in an entire storoy, but 18 over night! *grins*  
*bows* you have all inspired me to do great things. 


	4. Sword Play

***  
*Disclaimer* I STILL Don't own it!  
***  
Au-  
I am the merry wanderer of the night.  
I jest to Oberon and make him smile..  
-A Midsummewr Night's Dream/ Shakespeare  
***  
Kaoru always maintained that it took a special sort of person to be able to change into men's clothing as easily as women's.  
  
She didn't like to think about the fact that those 'special' people where usually cross-dressers, kabuki actors, and people such as she who gender couldn't really define.  
  
Hiko stood outside, leaning against a tree when she emerged battle ready. "Ready?" he asked, lightly tapping his own sword against his thight.  
  
Kaoru took her stance. "Yes."  
  
He cocked his head and she could see him evaluating her. "Ah, I know just where to start." he murmured... and vanished.  
  
The next thing Kaoru knew he had swatted her on the backside with his sheathed sword and had leapt away, ending up almost exactly where she'd begun.  
  
"Hey!" she cried indignantly. "What kind of an attack is that?"  
  
"A successful one." Hiko pointed out and disappeared again.  
  
This time, however, Kaoru was ready for him... or at least she thought she was. She spun just in time to block his next blow intended for her smarting rear, but she failed to forsee the fact that she was well within reach of his free arm.  
  
As was tickled breathless for it.  
  
Hiko kept up his assault until Kaoru was curled up on the ground sheilding her ribs from him. "That... wasn't fair!" she accused, but not in an angry manner. It was hard to be mad when you'd just been tickled to death.  
  
"No it wasn't." he agreed. "but neccesary. You're taking this far too seriously."  
  
"It's an insult to my opponent to not take him seriously." Kaoru quoted a common law of sword ettiquite.  
  
"Forget that nonsense right now." Hiko ordered. "That's all well and good in the dojo in ordered fights but in a serious battle you need to relax!"  
  
"And do what? Get sloppy?" Kaoru retorted.  
  
"No." he shot back. "Get up."  
  
Kaoru rolled to her feet and brought her sword back to the ready. "I'm not done yet."  
  
Hiko chuckled. "Relax! Think of this as practicing with..." he cocked his head. "A friend? Your father? A classmate?"  
  
Kaoru's brow furrowed. "What difference should that make?"  
  
Hiko scowled. "Is there anyone you've routinely practiced against and beaten regularly?"  
  
"Besides Yahiko?" Kaoru thought. "Yes..."  
  
"Then imagine that I am that person, fight me as you would fight him." Hiko said sternly. "And that's an order!"  
  
Kaoru frowned on his tone but visulaized a boy that had been the same rank as she in her father's advanced class. His name had be Kage and they had been utter rivals over everything; the result was that her father had regularly let them vent their fstrations on each other in informal battle.  
  
She looked at Hiko and mentally painted Kage's smug face over his, she thought about all the times that he'd ordered her around as if she were in a lesser rank than he (not that she didn't do the same) She also thought about how he'd backed her up against the others in their class when the bully boys had decided to teach her her proper station in life behind the dojo one day. Rivals and friends at the same time, even if he never won a fight against her. He'd always trained hard to get better, forcing her to do the same.  
  
Suddenly it all clicked and a smile tugged at he mouth. She wasn't on a hill a mile outside of Kyoto, she was back in the Dojo in Tokyo; trading insults with her opponents... not to insult them, but because it was fun...  
  
Kaoru dropped her ready stance and twirled her bodken lazily, it was a trick she hadn't used in years. It looked like she had the barest of grips on her weapon but actually she was rotating her wrist and had a good firm hold that she could snap to the ready in any position to block.  
  
"Are we going to fight or are you going to wait until I age to death?" she said saucily.  
  
"It wouldn't take so long." Hiko retorted, in exactly the same tone Kage had once used... it must be inherent nature for men. He brought his sword up slowly, casually... too casually.  
  
Kaoru blew a raspberry at him and snapped her bodken back to ready... this time however, her shoulders were relaxed and her stance seemed easier.  
  
***  
Author's Note  
***  
Sorry to leave it there. So very sorry, but I think you'll like the transition to the next bout of action. *grins* I'm having fun with this story, asnd the reviews just make it so much more fun!  
  
*Subtle Hint* 


	5. Dance Magic

***  
*disclaimer* (put fingers in ears) I can't heeeeaaaar you!  
***  
AU-  
A butterfly flapping it's wings  
caused a hurricane half a world away.  
--The Theory of Chaos  
***  
  
There was safety in the routine.  
  
If the routine wasn't broken then everything might turn out all right.  
  
Wake up in the morning. Fix Breakfast.   
  
(Greet Kaoru-dono in the hall and watch her as she walks away knowing every movement that she made before she made it, pure bliss.)  
  
Gather up the laundry from all the bedrooms.  
  
(There was none in Kaoru-dono's bedroom. There was only a note still folded on her desk with the word 'gomen' written on the outside.)  
  
Go outside to the morning sunshine and do the laundry.  
  
(Revel in the pure domesticity of listening to Kaoru conduct morning practice with Yahiko.)  
  
Kenshin kicked the laudry tub... it was no use. The routine was nothing without Kaoru-dono. Even the Dojo was different, all the life and sparkle had gone out of it, it had gone dormant awaited Kaoru-dono's return to spring back to life.  
  
"Is that what I should do?" Kenshin thought out loud.   
  
It was tempting to lose himself that way, not thinking, not feeling until one day Kaoru came back and everything was back to normal.  
  
Too bad it didn't work that way, Kenshin thought sadly. When, if, Kaoru came home something would change, that he could feel in the marrow of his bones. Maybe he had been expecting this, or something like it... maybe ever since he rescued a head strong young girl from a murderer one dark night.  
  
***  
  
Hiko was in town shopping for sake and the makings for supper when Midori arrived for her promised visit.  
  
Kaoru didn't see her right away, she was in her practice clothes working her way through a set of sword kata.  
  
Midori stayed in the shadows andwatched Kaoru's body flow through the supple movements until Kaoru registered her presence on that inner radar that most swordsmen possess.  
  
She dropped her strance and waved to Midori. "Hey! Welcome!"  
  
Midori smiled and left the shade. "I was watching your dance, that was beautiful!"  
  
Kaoru shuckled nervously. "Not really, I'm actually a little stiff... I haven't been practicing the really hard stuff lately." she sighed. "That's part of the reason I came here... but why not let's go inside? There's some sun tea that should be nice a cool by now."  
  
"That would be lovely!" Midori agreed. "I've never met a female swordmaster before."  
  
Kaoru smiled. "Swordsmasters are a rare breed these days, and female kenshi were always rare." she led the way inside and prepared two cups of tea for herself and her guest.  
  
Midori accepted her cup with gratitude and took a sip... she winced. "Oh... it's..."  
  
Kaoru made a face. "Feel free to tell me it's aweful." she sighed. "I'll get it right one of these days."  
  
"It's not your fault. Someone sold you bad jasmine." Midori assured her. She pointed to some of the loose tea floating in the drink. "See, it's all stems and no blossoms."  
  
The shinhondai scowled. "Drat." she muttered. "there's a dead man in the south markets once I find him."  
  
Midori put the lid back on her tea. "Indeed, next time you go shopping please stop by my house. I know where all the honest merchants are."  
  
Kaoru bowed to her new friend. "I would be very, very grateful."  
  
"It's no problem, expecially now that I know you and my husband know each other!" Midori assured her.  
  
"Eh? I don't know who you are talking about." Kaoru said.  
  
Midori smiled. "Of course not, he married into my family and took our name. Do you recall one Kage Tsubasa who trained with you at your family's dojo?"  
  
Kaoru's face lit up. "Of course! We hated each other!"  
  
Midori started. "What? He spoke of you so... happily."  
  
"Oh... oh, of course. We were rivals you see, the best two students in the Dojo. We were always fighting." she smiled reminiscently. "If it hadn't been for him I would never have worked half so hard to succeed my father as the Dojo master."  
  
Midori blushed. "Oh, I had been under the impression that you were childhood friends..."  
  
"We were," Kaoru assured her. "There are many types of friends. Is he in town?"  
  
"Yes, of course." Midori brightened. "He wanted me to invite you and your brother to supper tonight."  
  
Kaoru beamed. "That would be wonderful." Tht way I don't have to... oh no... "Hiko's already getting food for tonight." she slammed her fist into her hand. "We should go down to the market and catch him before he gets anything that will spoil."  
  
Midori stood. "A good idea. We can go to my home afterwards."  
  
***  
Author's note  
***  
I've been using a lot of jpanese words in here but not translating them. How implotie of me! *hits self* Here's and index of the words I've used so far.  
Aijou- beloved daughter  
Ue- My dear father  
Onigiri- riceballs  
Miso- soup made from soyban paste  
katsuobushi- dried bonito fish flakes  
kombu- dried kelp  
Dashi- a broth base for many japanese soups 


	6. Utter Chaos

***  
*disclaimer* Now this is just getting cruel...  
***  
Au-  
Up and down, up and down  
I will lead them up and down  
I am feared in feild and town.  
Goblin lead them up and down.  
-A Midsummewr Night's Dream/ Shakespeare  
***  
The Aoiya just got word of Kaoru's disappearance that morning.  
  
Misao stared at the two notes in her hand. It was from one of the Oniwabanshuu contacts in Tokyo.  
  
'Kamiya Kaoru has gone missing in tokyo five days ago.' The first read.  
  
'A young woman matching the missing woman's description has been seen at Hiko Seijuro's Pottery; she claims to be his sister staying with him while her husband is overseas.' the second read.  
  
"It's not like Kaoru to just take off at the drop of a hat." she told Okina. "Kaoru cares about Kenshin more than anything, it would kill her to leave and let Himura worry like that."  
  
The old man nodded absently. "I didn't know Kamiya-san very well, Misao... but she seemed like a young lady who can take care of herself." he said calmly.  
  
Omasu, who was passing out tea, nodded in agreement. "She did, Oka-chan." she said perkily.  
  
"That's Oka-shira!" Misao growled at the unrepentant woman.  
  
"I mean it, oh honored Leader of the Oniwabanshuu." Omasu continued. "None of us really got close to her while she was here except you, but she appeared to be a strong woman who knows what is going on. I'm willing to bet anything that she has a reason for leaving Himura-san in Tokyo."  
  
Okina nodded to Omasu. "Exactly, possibly she has business here that Kenshin-san would... er..." he shrugged. "Complicate."  
  
Misao frowned thoughtfully. "It could have to do with her old dojo in Tokyo." she shrugged. "I'll go ask her, is all."  
  
"As long as you don't see fit to rat on her to Himura." Okina said sternly.  
  
Misao made a face. "Himura is my friend, if he needs to know about Kaoru being here then he will know." then a wickes grin crossed her face. "If he doesn't..."  
  
Omasu and Okina watched Misao bound out of the room and take off to change into her sandals.  
  
"I didn't want to say this while she was here, but..." Omasu started.  
  
"I know." Okina finished. "Kaoru might not be here of her own free will."  
  
***  
  
Misao lost no time strapping on her sandals and leaving for Hiko's pottery.  
  
"I'm going to find out just what's going on." she told herself.  
  
"What is going on?"  
  
Misao started and looked up from where she was wrapping her sandal bands around her calves. "Oh! Aoshi-sama!"  
  
Aoshi was standing in the genkan in the act of removing his trench coat. "Is something wrong?" he asked.  
  
Misao pulled out the missives that she'd just received from Tokyo and their sentinel on the outskirts of town. Aoshi read them slowly and then handed them back. He took his trench coat back off of the hook he'd been about to leave it on.  
  
"I think I know what this is about." he told the younger girl. "I actually expected it sooner."  
  
Misao blinked. "Huh? Wha... what did you expect?"  
  
Aoshi shook his head. "I'll accompany you to the Pottery."  
  
***  
  
Kaoru sighed as she took in the sights and sounds of the Kyoto marketplace. 'Wow, it's so nice to be here when there's no impending doom.' she thought to herself.  
  
Midori pointed out interesting sights as they searched for Hiko, or more specifically the cheapest place to buy quality sake in town.  
  
"That's the temple where Shinnosuke's birth was officially recorded." Midori said cheerfully. "Amefuri is recorded in the Silver Shrine on the other side of the city."  
  
"It's nice to be able to take in the sights." Kaoru commented. "I've been here twice this year already but never anytime for leisure."  
  
"That is an honest shame." Midori commiserated, she tugged on Kaoru's arm. "Look!"  
  
In the crowd before them, Hiko had spotted the two women and was making his way towards them.  
  
"Ladies." He greeted them.  
  
"Midori-san has invited us to her home for supper, we wanted to catch you before you bought the fish." Kaoru explained.  
  
Hiko held up the jug of Sake. "This is all I've bought."  
  
Midori-san opened her mouth to say something, but she was interuppted by a certain, short ninja girl jumping at Kaoru out of no where.  
  
"Found you!" she crowed , wrapping her arms around Kaoru's waist. "You've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do!"  
  
"Is this a friend of yours?" Midori asked cautiously.  
  
"Kenshin sent you, didn't he." Kaoru sighed. "I'm not going back until I'm good and ready."  
  
"Battousai is worried about you." Aoshi said quietly, materializing behind Misao. "Our informants in Tokyo were quite explicit." he paused and looked Hiko over, jusging, measuring... "Hmph, you are Hiko Seijuro... Himura's Sensei?"  
  
Hiko nodded. "Loathe as I am to admit it."  
  
Aoshi shook his head. "I will not say that I approve, although you are undoubtedly an unparralleled fighter. Who arranged all this?"  
  
Kaoru opened her mouth to claim credit, but Hiko beat her to it. "I did."  
  
"Would someone please explain all this?" Midori cried.  
  
No one volunteered to explain and Aoshi continued on. "Then allow me to be the first to give my dis-approval. I believe Kamiya-san's prospects with Himura are more than adequate, there's no need to arrange a marriage to someone else..."  
  
Kaoru looked like she'd swallowed a prickly pear. "A..."  
  
"... marriage?" Midori finished. "Sir, I'm afraid you're mistaken! Kaoru is already married."  
  
"Kaoru!" Misao cried. "How could you?!"  
  
"Not to you." Aoshi thought out loud, gazing at Hiko... who was turning an unsettling shade of red. (Yes, now is the time to start running) "Who are you?" he asked Midori. "A relative of her new husband?"  
  
"No!" Midori stated calmly and ducked behind Kaoru. "Kaoru-san... I think that man is crazy..." she hissed into her new friend's ear.  
  
Misao wasn't done yet though. Kaoru saw the young ninja-girl tense in preparation but couldn't dodge the oncoming slap because Midori was clinging to her back.  
  
CRACK!  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Hiko roared.  
  
Tears shone in Misao's eyes as she backed away from Kaoru. "How dare you do this to Himura."  
  
"I'm not married!" Kaoru cried to her friend.  
  
"But you said..." Midori started.  
  
"I lied!" Kaoru shouted. "Dammit! I'm notr married, not going to BE married, and I'm not doing anything behind Kenshin's back! This has nothing to do with him!" when she finished yelling... she realized not omly was everyone in the group staring at her, everyone in the market was staring at her.  
  
"It's about time you figured that out." Hiko muttered but subsided under Kaoru's death-glare.  
  
"Let's go some where quiet and sort this mess out." Midori suggested and everyone regarded that as the smartest thing said sincer the scene bagan. 


End file.
